Tuesday, October 31, 2006

All Hallows Eve

So, a little Halloween digression.

I grew up with serious estate envy when this time of year rolled around. Living in the middle of nowhere doesn’t leave a whole hell of a lot of trick or treating options that don’t involve your parents having to drive you two miles up the road to the nearest “friendly” house so you can get a handful of “fun sized” Snickers bars. Kids that lived on estates made out like bloody bandits partly due to volume and partly due to fear. More houses, more candy, but more KIDS, the more likelihood of getting your house covered in eggs and toilet paper, so you’d better not be stingy or be ready to sit in the bushes all night with a garden house to deter potential vandals.

On my very last trick or treating ever, I got to finally experience the joy of Halloween on an estate. I went with some of my friends around a sprawling development in Frederick County and literally filled a whole pillowcase full of swag in between trying to scare the living hell out of each other. It was the haul of the century. Best. Halloween. Ever. (Incidentally, the Worst.Halloween.Ever was when I spent the evening in an All Saints Day service with my at-the-time Catholic boyfriend. Talk about leeching the fun out of a holiday.)

This year, I will not be dressing up, as pregnant French Maids are neither sexy nor clever. I am, however, going to play Bingo at one of England's huge professional Mecca Bingo establishments after some extreme coaxing by two other girls. (That, and Mr. DD is playing poker tonight, so it's either Bingo or siting at home on my ass by myself and watching a scary movie which will inevitably lead to many hours of sleeplessness, because I am a huge dork that takes the possibility of Freddy Kruger much more seriously than muggers and rapists.)

All fond memories of Devil's Night aside, what I would like to stress on this the spookiest of days is that those of you with pets to practice some restraint. When I was a kid, one of my favourite picture books was Animals Should Definitely NOT Wear Clothing which illustrated the sheer stupidity of trying to dress our fellow living creatures. For some reason, Halloween brings out the sadist in many pet owners and they feel compelled to propagate horrors like this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And this. (Can you just see the burning shame on the face of the dog on the far right? “Merciful God, what have I ever done to deserve this?” he seems to be saying. “Was it what happened with the carpet? Cause that was TOTALLY an accident.” But it's the one who seems to be saying, "Whee" I'm a banana!" that really makes the photo.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am loathe to admit that I actually find this practice humourous, but as you can see, there's very little funnier than four dogs dressed up as bananas. But for the love of all that is holy, let us try leave the earth’s creatures as nature intended, despite the inherant hilariousness in dressing them up. Let us respect their wild heritage and remember that they all descended from monsters that would as soon feast on your intestines as look at you. Very few would naturally be found in Frankenstein or hot dog costumes. Give them their dignity. (They found out recently that elephants demonstrate self-awareness. So you wouldn't put a silly hat on one of THEM would you?)

Let's leave the trick or treating to us bipeds. Happy Halloween.

8 comments:

lisalou said...

Call us crazy, but we did dress up our wiener dog! I mean, how could we not? It's absolutely insane, I agree, but the little bugger seems to love it! Probably due to the amount of cookies he gets from drunken Halloween revelers at our less that pious parties. My dad doesn't really approve/get the idea of costuming ones pets. Last halloween after feasting his eyes upon our fury bee he stated, oh so gently, "You kids are sick!" I am guessing that once we are blessed with a kid or two to mess with ...we'll leave the dog alone. Until then, Happy Hallowiener!

rockmama-in-waiting said...

weiner dogs DO sort of lend themselves to costuming, for some strange reason. :)

katty said...

*That cat made me laugh.
*What an excellent idea 0 hiding in the bushes with a hose. I had inner-London families banging on my door all last night and then shouting through the letter box "WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" I would have loved to have doused them.
*As for the Mecca Bingo Hall. There is one round the corner from me and I have been desperate to go for ages. The one time I persuaded my parents and my cousin and my brother to come with me they explained it was membership only and we had to register and come back the next night. We never made it.
Did you win anything?

rockmama-in-waiting said...

nope, no bingo winnage for me, although it sure was an interesting experience. One of the girls I went with won the staggering amount of £2.50!

SaraS-P said...

I am proud to say that I do not dress my cat up... mainly because she'd scratch the living heck out of me!

I do find the pictures really cute, though...

rockmama-in-waiting said...

I've always wondered how people get costumes on cats. I've NEVER owned a cat that would tolerate that sort of foolishness!

AMY said...

OK, so I know that I am way behind the times on this one but I was doing some historical blog catching-upping and I just had to comment on these animals in clothes. I NEVER get that. I live in Vancouver where it rains a lot and I swear I must see one animal a day crammed into a waterproof wind breaker with saftey vest reflective stripes, or worse yet (shudder) - rain booties. My husband now has taken to seeking and pointing out any clothed beasts just so he can draw my attention to them and watch me grimace. If only this folly were limited to Halloween.

The Prawn is lovely, by the way, and I really like her original name. Congratulations!

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