Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Daylight Stupid Time

To be honest, I've never really given Daylight Savings Time much thought. It's just always been, "Oh better change the clock so I don't end up looking like a big dork showing up early or late for work."

But you know what? Fuck Daylight Savings Time. Fuck it right in the ear. Has Daylight Savings Time ever had a cranky Prawn start shouting at it at 5 instead of 6 in the morning? NO IT HAS NOT. (To be fair, it is Mr. DD who gets out of bed in the morning to deal with the Prawn, but I know he's not loving it either.)

So now it's a question of how we can wrestle her back into a sleep pattern for civilized people. My best guess is that this will involve rather a lot of shouting from a 7 1/2 month old who's wondering why the hell she's still not in bed at 9 pm even though she is being repeated run over by the Sleep Truck. The Sleep Truck is more appropriate for the Prawn than the Sandman as she'll be all, "AAAAAaaaaa, NANG NANG NANG, AAAaaa, NANGzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" rather than gently drifting off to sleep.


Friday, October 26, 2007

All the News That's Fit To Print

While I don't usually resort to "list" posts, I have to admit that life is getting in the way a little. So here's the latest from Prawn Central.

-Me and the Prawn popped over to our local Olan Mills studio yesterday to record, for posterity, the image of her in her Halloween costume, which will no doubt be dragged out someday at her wedding. Or her first date. Even the emo kid behind the camera (who no doubt, in his spare time, takes moody black and white shots of roadkill and develops them in his own darkroom while listening to The Cure) was amused by my little lobster. The Prawn, however, was not so much in a mood to pose in ways best befitting her costume. It is now all about the tummy for her (a complete 180 from her early babyhood) and to hell with this sitting shit. Emo boy managed to get a few good shots that I ordered 8x10's of and was told that I could pick them up in 28 days.

I'm not sure what parallel universe Olan Mills is operating in that it takes them 28 days to print a photo when I can print one in about 40 seconds.

-So, we've kind of stopped trying to dress the Prawn. At some point in the last few weeks, clothes have become poisionous and to be avoided at all costs by way of extreme body contortions and loud shouting. This goes for nappy changing as well. Handy, as colder weather is most definitely here. It's gotten to the point where I think, "Who is it really going to hurt if she goes out with most of a bowl of sweet potato and carrot down her front?"

-We now have two distinct sounds for pleasure/interest and displeasure/frustration. The happy noise is largely, "deeg, deeg deeg!" and the unhappy noise is mostly "NANG, NANG, NANG!" Strangely, my mother told me that she remembered NANG NANG NANG quite clearly, so perhaps it's a genetic thing.

-In preparation for her trip to a weekend with Mr. DD's hairy rocker buddies, we've purchased the ear protectors that you can see in the above picture. She looks tragically cute and doesn't seem to particularly mind them, which is a mercy, because last year, I came home from this gathering with ringing in my ears that persisted for nearly 2 days.

-Definitely starting to enjoy this whole motherhood gig more now that it's apparent that we have a sentient creature on our hands who has preferences (Mummy's homemade food over jars. Yay!) and moods. (Good or bad, mainly. And boy there's a big difference.) The days when I feel overwhelmed or upset are fewer and far between and most of the time I just can't believe my luck at having this happy, healthy little creature in my life.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Fall Shenanigans

Just a bit of Prawny goodness.

My father in law finally got rid of a car that has been sitting in his garage for almost 40 years. This was no small task as the thing weighs about a ton.

The Prawn and the lovely leaves that grow up my in-law's beautiful house.

Sunday morning in the Tree Cathedral.

Prawn and Daddy.

Prawn and Mummy.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Twelve Bar Blues

Just a little movie of the Prawn rocking out to her Daddy's noise.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Toys From the Dark Side

It was inevitable, really.

While I’ve touched on my feelings about the state of children’s playthings today, it never really hit home until a truly diabolical toy reared its ugly head in our daughter’s toy chest.

Last week, I ordered a second high chair and playpen (aka Baby Jail) for use at Mr. DD's parent’s home from one of many fairly anonymous internet baby retail sites that litter the web that all operate under one principle; there’s good money to be made from people who have no idea what they’re doing. When these items arrived, it appeared that we’d picked up a stray from someone else’s order because along with the Baby Jail and the high chair, there also appeared an excersaucer. I had considered buying one of these things for the Prawn, but had always slightly feared the amount of space that one of these things would take up in our apartment which is already filled to bursting with baby gear.

I considered returning the item. Since my Father In Law had paid for the purchase, I wanted to be sure that his credit card hadn’t been charged for something we didn’t order in the first place. But once we discovered that it hadn’t, I was inclined to keep it. Otherwise, I just knew I was going to get stuck with a courier charge to send the damn thing back where it came from, so I sucked up my vague moral compunctions and brought the damn thing home where it started racking up points against it right from the getgo.

First of all, it is in the shape of a pink sports car which is so icky that I can’t even begin to describe it. But, noted my inner voice, you didn’t actually pay for this, so it’s probably slightly ungrateful to bitch that it makes your daughter look like a very small Malibu Barbie home for spring break. Fair enough, inner voice.

Secondly, I’m not 100% sure that it wasn’t put together by little slave children somewhere. But, piped up my inner voice again, you didn’t actually PAY for this, so none of your money has gone to factories in China and Taiwan that make 10 year olds sew soccer balls with their teeth. Good point, inner voice. No money of mine to the slave trade.

Thirdly, and this was the deal breaker….it makes noise. At this point, my inner voice had little to say other than, Will you shut that fucking thing up already?

Mr. DD and I made a pact early on in parenthood that we would avoid toys that made unnecessarily irritating electronic noises. In a world with Mozart and crickets, it is a wonder to me that grating midi music was ever invented. We had been to too many homes with a plethora of these obnoxious playthings and have always been determined never to let these instruments of Satan into the Prawn’s life. (Okay, I accidentally bought that set of stacking rings that not only make noise, but revolve as well, but thankfully, the music is of good quality and fairly innocuous.)

In this excersaucer’s case, it was the “dashboard” of the chav-tastic pink sports car that was the offender. Three benign looking buttons transformed our living room into a hellish reverberating chamber for the most nerve plucking midi horror at the most ridiculous volume that we could have imagined.

“Erm, why don’t you give that back to me a sec?” said Mr. DD, snatching the dashboard from under the gleeful hands of the Prawn and heading for the sideboard to find a screwdriver. I personally was all for smashing the offending piece of kit, but thankfully, Mr. DD has a basic knowledge of electronics and with a judicious wire yank, disabled the noise making device, leaving only the flashing lights and the rather more organic clicking sounds made by the “steering wheel” and the “gearshift”.

As I write the Prawn is enthusiastically gumming her new toy and smiling at me as if to say, “Don’t worry, Mummy. I won’t let the crass materialism that this pink sports wagon represents corrupt my malleable mind. Thanks to your wise instruction, I shall grow to be both virtuous and non-materialistic, dedicating my time to charity and my fellow man.”

She’s yanking your chain, says my inner voice.

I know, I reply.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Mummy Group

So the Prawn and I have recently entered the tender realm of the Mummy Group.

Meeting a huge group of new people is always a bit daunting. The lure of the Mummy Group, of course, is that you all have one thing in common, so at the very least, even if you turn out to be chalk and cheese, you can always talk about, well, poop. There's always the danger of running into someone dangerously unstable or weirdly competitive in one of these estrogen fests, but so far, so good.

It's sort of that first day at a new school feeling for me everytime I go, although I've been attending for about 3 weeks now. Everyone there obviously knows eachother or is related to one another, so just plonking the Prawn down on the mats, taking a deep breath and making small talk is not the easiest thing in the world for me. The other mums aren't unfriendly or anything, but given a choice between talking to someone with a shared history (childbirth classes, family ties, etc) and me, I often end up sitting and smiling, twiddling my thumb while the Prawn bangs seven shades of merry hell out of a xylophone. My job is to make sure she doesn't get carried away and hit the 2 month old sitting next to her over the head.

It's good to go to these groups, however, if for nothing else, than for a bit of baby comparison. The group I frequent is for under 1's, so there's a fair amount of age range. There are a good few 1 and 3 month olds as well as a generous helping of 8 month olds, so the Prawn is pretty much the only one in her age range. However, I've come to think that perhaps she might be a little ahead of the growth curve since she is both taller (she's got a daddy who's 6'2") and heavier than several children who have just celebrated their 1st birthdays. A future career in the WNBA beckons.

Most of the women in the group seem nice and normal, although I have to admit to knowing none of their names, despite the fact that I have been introduced to some of them up to three times. Their babies, on the other hand, I know by heart. A lot of conversations are started with, "Hey...Adelia's mum? How did you and Alexander's mum meet? Did you go to the parenting classes with Kimberly's mum?" Ludicrous.

At and rate, I have been forced to confront the fact that I am, in fact, pretty shy. Although I was a theatre major in college and wanted to believe that I had an outgoing, performance personality, I think I knew deep down that rooms with loads of people I didn't know in them made me want to hide under the sofa. For anyone who's ever taken the Meyers/Briggs personality test (one that actually works, btw) I USED to be an ENFP, but having taken it fairly recently, have become an INFP. (the E for Extrovert and I for Introvert) Perhaps I've changed or perhaps I'm just a little more honest.

On other Prawn related matters, I've been doing some shopping. My favorite purchase thus far has been "M is for Metal" which is a Rock alphabet book that I ordered from Meg's neck of the woods. Due to the Post Office lunacy in our parts, I imagine this is stuck in a sorting office somewhere and I'm just about chewing my arm off to see it. I also just broke down and bought the Prawn a pair of rock and roll Robeez that will hopefully keep her from finding new and interesting ways out of her socks. In the summer, this obviously wasn't a problem, but in winter, I'd prefer to keep her feet covered if at all possible. She's only just discovered that she's capable of manipulating objects in her world fairly adeptly and uses her new found knowledge to make short work of footwear.

You heard it here, folks. All the news worth telling.

Friday, October 05, 2007


So, we're still chugging along here with teh solidz.

It's trial and error, really. When someone can't really tell you if they're enjoying something or not, you'll settle for them not spitting it out. We have tried, care of Mush, cucumber and avacado (a fairly enthusiastic reception) and chicken and vegetable soup with the addition of potatoes instead of pasta. (Mainly for Mr. DD's and my benefit as we had it for dinner as well. It enjoyed a mixed reception with the Prawn, who's still on the fence when it comes to meat.)

Although I taste the food I make her, not being hugely strong of stomach, (yes, some diapers still make me gag) I have never actually tried any of the Prawn's store bought organic food. (We have some on hand for moments when, quite frankly, I can't be arsed to shove something in the blender due to excessive Prawn shoutage.) Mr. DD was trying, unsuccessfuly, to feed her an Ella's Organic sachet the other day (broccoli, pea and pear) which was mixed with baby rice.

"Look, Prawny! Yum yum! This is really...BLAAAARGH!" he said, sticking a small spoonful in his mouth and nearly retching in the process.

"Um, okay, You don't have to eat this anymore. It tastes like socks." he concluded to the Prawn.