Thursday, December 28, 2006

Shotgun Wedding

Just a quick hello before we jet back to the UK...

When Mr. DD and I got married, we were pretty broke. We didn't do traditional engagement rings because, "I'm just not a diamond person." Or so I thought.

7 years later and 2.2 months away from the birth of our first child, I decided that I actually AM kind of a diamond person, so Mr. DD kindly obliged me with an engagement ring for Christmas. My father (the guy with the pitchfork in the background) insisted that it was also a good photo opportunity.

Not only that, but it's a bit of a supreme belly shot. Yes, the Prawn is going to be a mighty Lobster.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Jetting Away.

We leave for the States in a little over 12 hours and we have yet to pack a thing.

Have a really lovely Christmas, ladies!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Gas Clouds in the Sky

This is totally and utterly off topic, but as probably a lot of you became aware yesterday when co-workers began mailing this story to you, a plane was forced to make an emergency landing in Nashville because someone farted. As a person who's own gaseous output has gotten somewhat more prolific of late, this was interesting to me.

It was not merely the occurrence of said flatulence that grounded the airliner. If this was the case, planes would never be able to take off due to the volume of compressed and expelled gasses contained within the intestines of passengers. (Anyone who's ever had a long haul flight with an air bubble that constantly keeping bubbling away in your gut will know the temptation to asphyxiate everyone in a 5 row radius in order to be rid of it.) The plane, was in fact forced to land because the woman who expelled said gasses was so embarrassed that she attempted to cover the fact by LIGHTING MATCHES.

Let’s skip over the part where we determine that this woman is obviously a brain donor. (lighting matches on an airplane. What a fucking brilliant idea, you vain asshat.) Anyone with a remotely functioning brain would have a) thought to spray what little perfume/deodorant you are allowed to bring in your carry-on- not exactly endearing you to other passengers, but if you simply can’t face the idea that your fellow travellers might discover that you have a digestive system, it’s an idea, or b) simply giving your seatmate a dirty look, making it obvious to all around you that they and not you are the culprit.

It does lead one to wonder why any sort of materials that can be used to start a fire are allowed on board aircraft anyhow. We’re required to leave nail files, tiny scissors and drinks behind, but hey, if you wanna spark up mid-flight, you’re in luck. THEY ALLOW MATCHES, BUT NOT WATER. HOW IN THE HELL DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE WHATSOEVER?

Just for amusement…my mother once got caught in airport security with a 9 inch bread knife in her purse. She’d spent the previous evening preparing for every security eventuality- slip on, slip off shoes, no scissors, needles, etc in her bag…but somehow missed the huge, offensive weapon in the front pocket that she’d used at school the day before to cut cake. The female security officer just looked at her.

“You can’t take this on the plane, ma’am.”

My mother stared open mouthed in horror. What she probably wanted to say was, “No shit.” What she ended up saying was;

“Um…yeah, you can keep that.”

Monday, December 04, 2006

Saving A Bit of Dough

Things around Chez Rockmama haven't been peachy keen lately, so when Mr. DD and I got some good news this morning regarding our new flat, I just had to share!

Having spent the last 7 years on a narrowboat, in the way of furniture, we own precisely squat. Everything is nailed to one bulkhead or another with the exception of a futon that we have to sneak up on and surprise to be able to fold back into couch shape and a £30 computer desk made of the special kind of pressed and disguised sawdust that they use to make furniture that you are willing to have in your home but wouldn't be devestated if it got eaten by carpenter ants or something. (Although I imagine that the discriminating carpenter ant probably wouldn't chow down on our computer desk unless he'd had a couple of pints of lager first.)

So, moving into this flat, we literally have nothing to fill it up with. Fortunately, we'd put aside around 3 grand for furnishings and although it wouldn't furnish the whole place, we'd get the basics; couches, dining room table, bed, etc.

Can I just say how much I would like to lick the people who live there at the moment? To facilitate their moving process, they asked us if there was anything of theirs furnishing-wise that we'd like to buy. We picked out bits that we liked as well as their appliances, (fridge/freezer, dishwasher, washer/dryer) because everybody knows that getting a refridgerator out of a first floor flat is a recipe for a hernia and possibly a lawsuit. Coming away from our little tete a tete, we thought that a fair price for the appliances alone would be around £500- none are new, although still in really good shape.

This morning, we got an email through from them asking us for £700 pounds for EVERYTHING. I think even the Prawn did a little victory dance. This is going to save us SO MUCH CASH. CASH IS GOOD. CASH PAYS FOR THE PRAWN.

Just a little bit of happy. :)