Thursday, October 12, 2006

Gender Bender

I’ve been doing more contemplating on boy parts and girl parts recently than probably ever before in my life, even including when I was in high school and discovering that there are all kinds of interesting and clever things that they can do.

Yeah, yeah, 10 fingers, 10 toes, everyone says that, but the REAL question is, “Who the heck is in there anyway and WHAT KIND OF PARTS DO THEY HAVE? Doo Dah or Hoo Ha? Willy or Winkie? Colt or Filly? Hamburger or Hot Dog? TEEEELLLLLLL MEEEEEEE!”

You often try to imagine your future son or daughter and the extraordinary amount of knowledge that you feel obligated to impart upon them before they move into a flat with 3 friends and you KNOW that they throw all the pizza boxes and condom wrappers in the closet before you come to visit.

A son needs to know how to balance traditional ideas of masculinity with healthy emotional practices. He needs to know how to solve things without his fists. He needs to be brave enough to stand up for his beliefs and not to take too seriously what everyone else says- to be his own man. And he needs to learn to keep his boy parts to himself (or at the very least well protected with as few girlparts as he can manage) until he himself is ready to be staring at a sonogram monitor at tiny developing boyparts that he himself had a hand in creating.

A daughter needs to know how to be a strong woman- to do whatever she chooses to even if it’s not traditionally “feminine”. She needs to know how to recognize poisonous people and how to deal with them politely, but firmly. She needs to be able to defend herself. And she needs to keep her girl parts safely hidden away (or at least interfacing with as few well protected boyparts as possible) until she herself is willing to have a tiny person with girlparts of her own sitting on top of her bladder in an uncomfortable fashion.

Of course, both sons and daughters need to embrace creativity, curiosity, empathy and a willingness to see the world in shades of grey rather than in black and white.

So today at our 20 week scan, the nature of the Prawn’s parts was naturally the question of the hour.

Unfortunately, the Prawn had other ideas.

The tech spent a good 10 minutes chasing my offspring around my belly, trying to get decent shots of all of the things that needed checking, poking and prodding along the way, trying to get the Prawn into more suitable positions. The Prawn was having none of it.

When it came to crunch time, the little bugger not only had it’s legs clamped tightly together with the cord running in between them, but also had one hand firmly ensconced over the vicinity as well. Not even born and already contrary.

The technician commented that if she had to make an educated guess….she’d say it was a girl due to visible absence of obvious boy parts, but then again, said boyparts might be lurking beneath the Prawn’s anti-paparazzi capabilities and might suddenly make an appearance in 11 weeks for the next scan, so we’re sure not buying anything gender specific just yet.

The best news we got, however, is that the Prawn looks entirely normal, so that is, of course, a relief after all the nuchal translucency nonsense! Healthy Prawn! Happy happy happy!


Hopeful Mother said...

Too bad about the gender-guessing, but the good news is the Healthy Prawn! Congratulations!

MsPrufrock said...

Congratulations on the healthy Young Mr/Ms Prawn. I'm very pleased to hear everything is ok.

I think a lot of fetuses are contrary in the womb. For P's 27 week scan to determine her sex and wellbeing she had her head firmly implanted in my pelvis so her head could not be measured. She had her bajingo covered with her hand. I hope the Prawn is more cooperative next time around so you know if it is a girl Prawn or boy Prawn.

Southern Comfortable said...

I think the Prawn is totally messing with you. He or she knows what's up. It's fun to make mom and dad a little nuts. :-)

lisalou said...

The 5 boys I moved in with at age 19 stacked their pizza boxes (floor to ceiling) in the bathroom, peed out the back door into the yard and sat on lawn chairs balanced on our roof's peek drinking beer. They were nice boys; Tree planters, Moutain bikers, DJs. You could tell they'd had mamas that tought them about keeping their boyparts safe. Although I was their age I was protective of them when girls with yukkyparts came over....I'm not sure what my point is here,I guess just that your post reminded me of those days. My husband and I often imagine the future lives of our future children and we wonder what kind of people they'll be, what experiences they'll's a fun game to play.

rockmama-in-waiting said...

lisalou- The boys I lived with in college were good boys with good mamas too- but as you say, a little gross. That's just how boys are. :) Luckily, it sounds like you and I married the non-pizza box stacking, peeing out the back door kind. :)

Anonymous said...

We just had our 20 week ultrasound and it was really amazing. We couldn't tell wether 'Guido' is really a boy or a girl. I have the feeling its a boy. Luckily everything appears normal, but we must see an Obstetrician to find out the sex. Our local hospital will not tell us.

Just wondering if you have had the experience of watching your belly jump and ripple yet? I am 20 weeks and just started to see my actual belly moving around! Very cool.

katty said...

Congratulations on the normal twenty week scan. HURRAH.

4tops said...

Just added happy happies for the normal scan. We just had ours the other week, a bit early. We did see BOY, hanging all out there, proud as peaches (are peaches really proud?). Here's hoping for you to be able to relax even more, and enjoy the next 20 weeks, as much as getting as large as the side of a house can let us enjoy...

SaraS-P said...

Normal baby is good news! Prawn is already protecting his/her parts. Maybe this trend will extend into the dating years!

Meg said...


Glad to hear the scan went well.. I would be a teeny disappointe too... there really is so much to think about with gender, and i want to get my head around that stuff before it pops.

rockmama-in-waiting said...

Thanks for all of your good wishes, ladies! I've started refering to the Prawn as "she" now, but am still (with difficulty) holding off on buying frilly things.)

Island Baby- I haven't really SEEN the Prawn move yet, unfortunately. I actually had somewhat of a belly BEFORE I got pregnant, so it might be a few more weeks before I can see little feet poking me!

Our local hospital is one of the few in the area that WILL tell you the sex. The nurse told me most places won't due to a large and traditional Indian/Pakistani population in the area who are very particular about genders and might be tempted to abort a female fetus.

Thalia said...

congratulations to all three of you, what a relief that you've got nothing to worry about on the 'normality' front.