Friday, August 24, 2007

A Distant Memory

When you've suffered with IF or recurrent losses, one can't even imagine a time when two lines on a First Response test were cause for terror rather than joy. The times that you can just barely remember from high school or early college, when you might have laid awake at night going, "When was the last time I had my period? Holy shit, I can't even remember. OMG, I CAN'T HAVE A BABY RIGHT NOW. " Of course, Aunt Flo would dutifully show up the next day and you'd be so relieved that you even relished the cramps.

I had pretty much forgotten about all of that until this month when I suddenly realized yesterday that I had NO idea when I'd last had my period.

Mr. DD and I are all over having another baby, providing that my body will cooperate. This is not a given. Obviously, I take the idea of another miscarriage seriously. I think we're both pretty uncomfortable with the idea of having a second child at the moment. For starters, we're still looking for the instruction manual for the first one. Secondly, we have no space. Thirdly, I have about 50 pounds to lose to avoid problems like GD the next time around. And fourthly, just....hell no.

There's a certain sheepishness about purchasing a pregnancy test while pushing a baby buggy containing a rather young baby. The girl ringing up my purchase definitely had a bit of a smirk on. A "rather you than me" look, I feel.

I was so anxious about it that I went to the grocery store loo to discover my fate.

Only one line. Whew.

"No siblings for you just yet, young Prawnling." I said.

She blew me a raspberry.

8 comments:

Meg said...

Of course, your story is eclipsed by the image, you know that?

Maybe my son can marry your daughter and we can create a master race of adorable blonde children.

rockmama said...

Yes, the Prawn does have an all-encompassing cuteness about her, doesn't she?

The arranged marriage is on. We will rule the planet one day.

PiquantMolly said...

She quite possibly gets cuter every second. Those eyelashes!

rockmama said...

She seems to have inherited all of her father's girliest characteristics (like the eyelashes) that have never really done HIM much good, but will most likely stand her in pretty good stead when it comes time to get a date for the prom. Or three.

Mr. DD is already looking forward to living in America so that he can buy a shotgun to intimidate potential suitors.

SaraS-P said...

How often do I get to say this? Congrats on the single line!

lisalou said...

I have to admit I was kinda hoping for two lines. I guess I'm just sick that way. :)

Katie said...

Well, I'm glad you only got one line. Pregnancy now can be a scary deal because your daughter is only a few months old and for all the other reasons you mentioned. I know someone that will be due in 2 wks and her 3rd child is only 1 yr old! I don't know how she handles four children all 1-1.5 yrs apart. I only have two and I can't even keep up with them, lol. Oh, and your baby girl is just precious! Keep the pictures coming.

Brandy said...

I had the same panic attack when I thought we'd DTD near a possible fertile time (I'm breastfeeding but AF is already back). It's a weird feeling, after wanting two lines for SO, SO long. Good to hear that you're happy with one line and good luck staying that way for at least a little while. :-)