31 Flavors of Madness

I was hoping to restrain the crazy monster until after the first scan. I really was. Because, realistically, I'm doing everything I can at the moment that I know of to help this 5 week old pregnancy along and until I know one way or the other whether it's viable, there's really no point in engaging in any form of psychotic behavior since there's bugger all I can do about it.

But of course, I'm sure you're aware that I am, at this moment, all kinds of crazy wondering what kind of insane fucking surprises my body has in store for me next.

1) Woke up with a fever this morning. Not a high one, but having a fever making me very unhappy and more than a little unhinged. Got a phone consult with GP this afternoon to let me know whether I should be freaking out or lying down with a few paracetamol.

2) Kidney pain that's not an infection (have had two seperate cultures done, both negative) that won't bloody quit. Of course, my first thought is ectopic pregnancy, but my hcg numbers don't seem to indicate that. I'm pretty much prepared for all kinds of weirdness happening below the waist, and I know that things are all kinda getting moved around at the moment, but does it have to be so damned mysterious??

3) Panic attacks in the middle of the night! Hooray! Can someone tell me how the hell my body sees it as a good idea to wake me up in the middle of the night to worry about something that wasn't really bothering me while I was blissfully unconscious? Who the fuck DOES that? If someone came running into your room at 2am and started shaking you yelling, "Shit! Remember that thing that's scaring the crap out of you? Well, IT'S STILL HERE!" you'd probably bash their head in with your alarm clock.

4) Ok, can I just say something about progesterone suppositories? Not to be taken cooterally by anyone that has frequent bouts of cystitis. (Spot the IC sufferer!) So what option does that leave me? Oh, yes, straight up the yoo hoo. How people can get things like soda cans and wine bottles up there I have NO idea.

Please, for the love of all that is holy, help restrain me.